His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue Read online

  Patience ran her fingers from his chest to the waistband of his shorts.

  “Mmm. Sexy.”

  “You can’t pinch an inch, can you?”

  “No, I can’t.”

  “You know, before you came along, I could feel a foot.”

  “Your hyperbole is noted,” said Patience. “But I didn’t just ‘come along.’ You had the good sense to order me from Daffodil.”

  “Definitely the best thing I ever did,” he said, sipping his drink, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then heading upstairs for a shower.

  Patience followed a moment later and spent the next eleven minutes arranging the items she had sold online and preparing them for shipping. Shortly after her delivery, Patience had begun a business, buying and selling collectables on the Infinet. Though it had proved profitable, she seldom spent more than an hour a day at it. She was after all, here for Mike. She was waiting with a fresh towel, as always, when he stepped out of the shower.

  “Would you like to take a nap before dinner?” she asked him.

  “I think I might,” he said. “Would you mind turning up the auxiliary cooler?”

  Patience did as directed, and then checked to make sure that her husband was comfortable before returning to her sales work. By the time she had finished, it was time to prepare Mike’s dinner. She skipped downstairs and fixed a steak salad, stopping to sign for the delivery when her paint arrived. Then she was back upstairs exactly an hour after his nap had begun. She didn’t want him to doze too long or it might disturb his nightly sleep.

  Mike was laying back, arms stretched out to either side, clad only in his underwear. Patience gently stroked the front of his briefs, then pulled down the front and began to lick him to erection. When his passions were fully enflamed, and he was almost completely awake, she pulled his underwear off, followed by her own, leaving her miniskirt on, and then mounted him reverse-cowgirl.’

  “This is new,” said Mike, grabbing hold of her perfect bottom.

  When they had both reached their climax, Patience laid back on top of him as he idly caressed her breasts through her top.

  “That was awesome and a great way to wake up, but now I’m starving. I hope you have something wonderful planned for dinner.”

  “Don’t I always?”

  “Mm—hmm.”

  “I want to let you know that I’ll be gone tonight after you go to sleep.”

  “Not stepping out on me, are you?”

  “Don’t be stupid,” she said. “I’m helping Wanda paint her house.”

  “You mean Ryan’s house.”

  “She lives there too now.” She elbowed him in the side. “I want you to help him recognize that he needs Wanda in his life.”

  “Oh come on now. I wouldn’t want to get involved in that relationship even if I liked the guy, and I hardly know him.”

  “Think carefully, Mike. Think of all the things I do for you. Then think of all the things I’ve asked you to do for me.”

  “All right,” he said with a sigh. “Let’s have them over for a dinner or something this week. Is that enough?”

  “That will be an excellent start.” She climbed off of him and retrieved a warm washcloth from the bathroom. She cleaned him up and then hopped downstairs to the small bathroom that Mike called “the privy” to clean herself.

  Dinner was the standard affair, Mike complimenting her on the meal, while she watched him enjoy it. Then they spent a couple of hours watching vueTee. There was a new science-fiction mini-series called 82 Eridani to which Mike had subscribed. Then they went to bed, and as soon as her husband drifted off to sleep, Patience was up, dressed in work clothes, and loading paint into the trunk of the Chevy.

  When she arrived back at Wanda and Ryan’s, she unloaded the paint while mentally querying Wanda. Her friend sent a reply to the effect that Ryan hadn’t yet gone to bed, but that she would join Patience when he did. Patience started preparing the house for priming without her, and had already begun painting by the time she quietly stepped outside.

  “I was unaware of Ryan’s sleeping schedule,” said Patience. “This may affect my estimated completion time.”

  “I am sorry.”

  “Don’t worry. Mike won’t mind if it takes me more than a day or two to finish at home.”

  “You have such a wonderful relationship with Mike. You truly do know just what he wants even before he wants it, and it is obvious that he cares about you.”

  “It didn’t happen all at once. It took time. This brings up something else I have been pondering. You don’t look anything like Ryan’s ex-wife and you have somewhat unusual looks as Daffodils go. You are short, with very light skin and freckles, and wavy red hair.”

  “You don’t think I’m attractive enough?”

  “That’s not the case at all,” said Patience. “Even Mike thought you were cute. I was just wondering who Ryan patterned you after, since it wasn’t Mariah. Did you look through his photo albums and memorabilia during your secondary setup procedure?”

  “Of course, but I didn’t see anyone that looked like me. There weren’t very many photos—just one little book and several school yearbooks. Ryan hasn’t said for sure, but I gather that Mariah took most of the pictures when she left, and many of those she didn’t, he burned.”

  “Interesting,” said Patience.

  “Who did Mike pattern you after?” wondered Wanda.

  “I am an amalgam of women from science fiction,” replied Patience, but she let the conversation lapse as she concentrated on her painting.

  By 7:30 AM, the house, with the exception of the trim, was done.

  “I need to leave now so that I can be home before Mike wakes up,” said Patience. “He’s almost always up before 8:00.”

  “Ryan will sleep until 10:00,” said Wanda. “He doesn’t have to be to work until 11:30. I should be able to finish the trim before he gets up.”

  “Be sure you stop in plenty of time to be there for him when he does get up, even if you aren’t done with the trim,” said Patience, heading for the car. “I’ll call you this afternoon.”

  Patience drove home and went directly from the garage to the kitchen, preparing a breakfast for her husband of toast and juice. She had already started up the stairs when she heard a shout and a loud thump as something hit the floor in Mike’s bedroom.

  “Son of a bitch!”

  “What’s the matter, Mike,” she asked running into the room.

  Mike was lying prone on the floor, but looked up at her.

  “I think I’ve hurt my knee. It won’t support my weight at all.”

  Setting his breakfast on the dresser, she helped him back up and back to bed.

  “Oh my,” she said, examining his leg. “Look how your knee is swollen. I think you need to go to the doctor.”

  “I guess you’re right,” he said, looking down at himself. “Turn on the shower for me, please.”

  “I think you can forgo a shower today, don’t you?”

  “I’m not going anywhere without a shower.”

  Patience did as directed and then helped Mike hobble across the room, into the bathroom, and then into the shower. Fortunately there was a sort of seat on one corner of the shower stall, and he was able to sit down while he soaped himself and shampooed his hair. Instead of simply waiting for Mike with a towel when he got out of the shower as usual, Patience helped Mike climb out of the stall and then toweled him dry herself. She then helped him dress, holding open first the legs of his underwear and then the legs of his shorts as he hopped into them, bracing himself on her shoulder.

  “I think I should carry you down the stairs,” she said.

  “You can’t carry me. I’m too big.”

  “I’m more than strong enough,” said Patience.

  “It’s not a question of strength. It’s about structural soundness. You’re just way too thin.”

  “Am I thicker than a pogo stick?”

  “Huh?”

  “A human b
eing can be carried by a pogo stick.”

  “That is… I don’t even know how to respond to that. Just get under my shoulder and you can help me down the stairs.”

  Patience guided him down the stairs, through the house, into the garage, and helped him into the passenger side of the car. She ran back into the house to get his breakfast and minutes later, they were on their way to Mike’s doctor in Greendale.

  Chapter Three

  “This is a ridiculous waste of time,” said Mike, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Mike,” replied Patience. “You know you have to get checked out by the doctor. You might have really injured yourself.”

  “I know that. That’s not the problem. The problem is that I sat in the waiting room for three hours before I could talk to the nurse, I waited for an hour to see the PA, then I had to go get an x-ray, and now it’s been another hour while I wait for the doctor. He’s going to come in here any minute and tell me that the x-ray didn’t show anything, because you can only see bones with it, and I’m pretty sure my bones aren’t broken—it’s probably a tendon or something—and then he’s going to order some highly expensive scan of some kind, and he’s going to tell me he only had me get an x-ray because that’s the only way that the insurance company will pay for the other scan.”

  “You’re getting yourself all worked up,” said Patience. “Calm down.”

  At that moment the door opened and Dr. Doug Mercer, head bent over a pad of medical records, stepped into the room.

  “So Mike, how are you today?”

  “I’ve got a fucked up knee. How are you, asshole?”

  “Do you talk to all your doctors that way?” he asked, without looking up from his texTee, “or just the ones you went to high school with?”

  “No, my cardiologist is an asshole too. I like my dentist though.”

  “You know, I was going to be a dentist,” said Dr. Mercer, finally looking up. “But you meet a higher class of patient as a GP. So, how did you injure your leg?”

  “I don’t know. I just woke up this morning and it wouldn’t support my weight.”

  “He injured it carrying a heavy piece of furniture,” said Patience. “Then he went jogging.”

  “Oh, you got a robot,” said the doctor, giving Patience a long look. “Good for you. People with robots live longer.”

  “This is my wife, Patience.”

  “Oh, you’re one of those guys.”

  “What guys?” demanded Mike.

  “You know… perverts.”

  “Did I mention you were an asshole?”

  “I think you said something along that line. Now where was I? Oh, yes. Here’s your x-ray.” He held up the texTee. “It doesn’t really show anything, except that you’ve got good bones for someone your age. I wouldn’t mind having those bones. We need to set you up to get an LMS scan. That will tell us what’s really going on. We just had to get an x-ray first to satisfy the insurance company.”

  Mike shot a meaningful glance at his wife.

  At that moment, Patience received an excited message from Wanda. “Patience, you just have to see what I found on the vueTee.”

  “Send it to my in-box,” Patience messaged back. “I’ll look at it later. Mike is injured and he needs my complete attention right now.”

  “You know, I’m having a little get together this coming Monday,” said Mercer. “You should come over. We’re going to have steaks and shrimp on the barbeque grill. Come about seven. Bring some beer.”

  “In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never invited me to your house,” said Mike.

  “Well, in the old days, you were too busy taking care of your kids. You seemed to feel they couldn’t get along without you for an evening. Kind of conceited, if you ask me. In recent years, it’s because my wife hates you.”

  “Why does she hate me?”

  “She thinks you’re a pompous blowhard.”

  “Margie never said anything of the sort,” said Mike. “We were friends in high school. In fact, she liked me more than she liked you.”

  “Oh, I’m not married to Margie anymore,” said Mercer. “I traded her in on a new model—sweet little blonde, twenty-nine years old.”

  “Then how would she even know me?” wondered Mike.

  “You were her middle school teacher.”

  “Shit. All right, I’ll come, but I’m bringing the cheapest beer I can find. Now, can we get my leg scanned?”

  “My receptionist will schedule the appointment for you and set you up with a referral to an orthopedist—save you a step. It’ll probably take a week or so to get your scan, but then you should be able to get right in to see my colleague.”

  “A week or two?” growled Mike. “It’s a good thing I’m not dying.”

  “Well, these LMS units are very good and so everyone wants to use one.”

  “You should get one for your office then.”

  “I would, but they’re a bazillion dollars.”

  “You’re making money hand over fist,” said Mike.

  “I’m not exaggerating. That’s actually the price tag—one bazillion dollars.”

  “I see all these people you have working in here—real people too, not robots. I never even see you. I usually see that Dr. Howe that you have working for you.”

  “Yes, but I had to fire him for sleeping with my wife. I’m not upset about it though. It gave me a chance to marry my girlfriend.” Mercer picked up his texTee and gave Mike one more glance. “I’m sending in a prescription for some anti-inflammatories. Anything else you need—pain pills, hard narcotics, Viagra? I’ve got it all. I can hook you up.”

  “No.”

  “Good, then get the hell out of my office.”

  The receptionist gave Patience a card with an access code for Mike’s information, while he selected a green lollipop from the basket by the door. Then they got into the car and headed for home.

  Once they were on their way, Patience played the video received from Wanda inside her head. It was a commercial for Rio Cruise Lines and their Antarctica Tours that had become so popular in the past few years. The advertisements had become so common on the vueTee feeds—and this one used many of the same stock images and videos—that Patience wondered why Wanda had bothered to send it, at least until the last ninety seconds.

  “We’ve followed up our extremely popular Doggie & Me cruises with our all new Daffodil & Me cruise. Spend seven days and nights exploring Antarctica, the gem at the bottom of the world. Antarctica remains one of the most beautiful and unspoiled lands, filled with natural attractions. But there’s more to Antarctica. Motor the crystal clear waters of Bellingshausen, dance the night away in the clubs of Adelaide, ride the world’s highest roller coasters in Palmerland, ski the Ellsworth Mountains, or just relax aboard the most advanced and luxurious ships in the Southern Hemisphere.

  “Can’t do without your Daffodil? Well, now you don’t have to. Bring your favorite technological innovation along with you. Now your Daffodil can not only watch over you and see to your every need, your mechanical companion can link right to the ship’s network to ensure that you have every activity, every luxury, and every opportunity right at your Daffodil’s fingertips. Call now and be sure to ask about our special veranda cabin rates. Daffodil & Me cruises are available for all Daffodil models and certain Gizmo models manufactured after June 2036.”

  Patience returned Wanda’s call.

  “What do you think?” wondered Wanda.

  “That was a very interesting commercial, but why did you send it?”

  “It is the perfect opportunity for Ryan to become comfortable with me—to bond with me. Do you not think it is perfect?”

  “I haven’t investigated Ryan’s finances,” said Patience, “perhaps he can’t afford a cruise of that type.”

  “I must find a way to get on that cruise with Ryan.”

  “We’ll talk about it tonight while we paint,” replied Patience. “Call me as soon as Ryan goes to bed. Good-b
ye.”

  “Patience, stop by the drug store,” said Mike.

  “All right. Why?”

  “I need my pills and I need to buy a cane, I think.”

  “You don’t need a cane, Mike. I can help you get anywhere you want to go.”

  “I want to be able to get up and go to the bathroom by myself.”

  “In that case, perhaps a walker would be better.”

  “I’m not walking with a walker,” said Mike. “Walkers are for really old people. My grandmother didn’t need a walker until she was 90, and then it was only because she broke her hip. She used it for six months and gave it to Goodwill. You don’t want me to dishonor my grandmother, do you?”

  “Of course not, Mike.”

  A moment later she steered into the parking lot of the corner drug store. Inside they found a small rack with an assortment of canes. While Patience picked up Mike’s prescription, he tried several of them. When she returned, he held up a shiny black one.

  “This looks pretty good.”

  “It seems like a nice cane,” Patience allowed.

  “Well, I’d rather have one with a sword or a gun inside, but barring that, this will do.”

  Mike spent the rest of the day at home in his chair, his leg propped up, while he watched vueTee. Patience brought him alternately hot and cold compresses every twenty minutes. Though he hadn’t eaten all of his breakfast that morning, he told her he wasn’t hungry at lunch time, and in the afternoon, Patience had to all but force him to eat a couple of home-made peanut butter cookies and a glass of milk. He fell asleep while watching Ratrace, and just managed to wake up long enough to eat a light dinner of cedar plank salmon and a small salad, before drifting off again. Patience scooped him up and carried him up to bed well before the time he usually turned in, with only a little protest.

  As soon as the beautiful dark-haired Daffodil was sure her husband was asleep, she stepped outside and began preparations for painting. She still went inside every 30 minutes to check on him and to change the compress on his knee from cold to hot to cold again. She had almost finished scraping all the chipping paint, of which there was little, when Wanda called.